Talk:The Time of My Life/@comment-4127080-20130509005939
My parents are thinking I'm selfish and crazy. My dad doesn't say directly that I am crazy but he say that people who cut themself are crazy who have no faith in god. Whenever he sees my cuts he just looks and gives me that you're selfish look. They say that if I feel like cuting they I don't need therapy. I just need to pray because therapy won't help because if I want to stop I will stop on my own. I can't stop. I don't cut my wrist anymore by I cut my legs and stomach so it could be easier to hide it because my parents say that if I cut myself one more time then this time they will be pissed. Also is because those boys in my class tell me that they are worried about me they tell me if I don't stop cutting then they will tell the school counselor. I don't want to because the school counselor won't tell anything to parents unless if it involves hurting myself or other people. If she calls my parents then I will get lecture about god and get yelled at because I'm cutting and I'm doing that to hurt them. I don't know what else I can do to make it seem that I have a mental illness. I know I have a mental disorder but my parents say the people who have a mental disorder don't believe god. My parents always tell me I should be happy because I don't have cancer and I was born health not like some other kids. I have a big house, food, clothes, and both of them so I have nothing to be upset about. Whenever my parents talk about the future I give them hits that I might not live to see my 18th birthday then they make it seems I did said to hurt them. My mom said that if I talk about death then god will bring me death. I wanted shouted out that I hope it's true but I didn't. Now my so called "friends" or the people who I hang out with when I bored found out about my cuts and they told some people about they didn't believe them since I'm always smiling 24/7. One of them even told her mom. Since my mom and her mom are friends I'm worried that she might tell my mom. My mom told me to keep it a secret because people may judge me. Those boys who I don't even hang out with are more friend then they are. I just hang out with them because they come to me. I only have one friend who understands me. She's a cutter too and told me to go to go to counseling but I can't I have no money to pay for therapy and I can't go to the school counselor because she will called my parents. I know my parents love me but they don't understand me even if my mom says she does. My parents are really close-minded. Please I'm sorry if I'm putting my problems on you. I'm not doing it for the attentions. The only reason I get on every morning is because of my health teacher from 7th grade that we all have purpose in life. I'm not doing this for the attentions but I feel if I kept this to myself that I was going to drown. My parents say one thing that I don't have depression and I just have anixety.